Task 2 complete for Laura - Picture with a Celebrity

Task number 2 – DONE!!!

I needed to get my picture taken with a celebrity – which working at the Telegraph isn’t that challenging, depending on your fussy’ness on what can be described as a celebrity :)

So technically I have done this task twice, but I did think the 1^st was a little unfair and possibly cheating. Roger Black the (Olympic athlete) came into the Telegraph to do a talk. Afterwards all Telegraph staff formed an orderly queue and had a professional photo with Rog. How easy would that have been for me?! One task down – BOOM!!! But no, obviously I missed all of the organised picture taking, instead I had interrupt him being interviewed and consequently being videoed and sheepishly requested a picture.. As seen below.

But like I said, I felt that was cheating a little and considering how much I have stitched up Miss Garrett, I figured I should try a little harder.. Roll on take 2!

Soho. Glass of wine. Jeni, Nikki and I enjoying a chilled afternoon in a bar sat in the sun. Nikki casually announces that Simon Amstell was just down the road – I went into auto pilot, jumped up and started chasing him down the road, shouting at Nikki to catch up as she had to take the photo - obviously the wine helping my confidence to walk up to a total stranger and ask to have my picture with him [cringe]… so I did, explaining why I was asking and telling him about our blog, to which he replied grumpily that thought blog sounded like a stupid idea. Nice :)

Anyway, I continued like a professional ignoring his rudeness, asking his female friend to take a pic elaborating the fact that I needed a picture with a CELEBRITY!!! Task done!

Now, little did I know that the female friend that I quickly dismissed was Jessica Stevenson who has featured in Harry Potter, Shaun of the Dead and Spaced – FUCK!!!! Harry Potter v’s Never mind the Buzzcocks – nice one Laura. Oh well…. Hope she wasn’t to insulted, she seemed to be more peeved at dropping her spoon that she was eating her frozen yoghurt with. Luckily Nikki explained about the 3 second rule, so she picked it up and carried on eating it happily. Ha!

Task 2 – done!  

Task 1 complete for Laura - Centurion game

Ok, so I thought I had better get a move on with completing my tasks as time is a creeping. The perfect night presented itself for me to complete a task - the centurion drinking game (have a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes).

Jeni and I had bought some cheeses to accompany my home made chutney (yes well, I am nearly 30!) and we were eagerly awaiting Nikki to return from holiday, so a chilled Saturday night in was planned. After demolishing the cheese and pate (even after Nikki accidentally sat on it), I suggested I complete the centurion game. How hard can it be? One shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes, surely that's just taking a large sip of beer every minute?! I worked out that was not even 5 pints, I can handle that, I have been training for it most weekends since my late ('sh) teens... However it did not occur to me at the time not to attempt this game after consuming half a bottle of wine - NOT recommended!!!

So it started and my god it was NOT easy. Nikki had warned me of her experience of only reaching 70 shots before being sick :( I discovered quickly that beer is quite gassy, therefore after 7 shots I was feeling very bloated and tried a tactic of opening lots of cans to allow the gas to leave and the beer to become flat... this was not successful. The squeamish ones of you may not want to read on..

When Nikki and I agreed to do this whole '30 things before your 30' I knew there was going to be an element of embarrassment and cringe worthy events, however I dont think I fully thought it through... I promised to divulge all information.. So this is what I remember of the night.

At 30 shots I was violently sick, a part of the evening that Jeni and Nikki did not enjoy, they were hiding out on the balcony giggling at my misfortune. I then continued and reached 70 shots - this was after participating in a little dance around my lounge and a 'special' dance I wish could be blocked from my mind on my balcony (remember at this point that Jeni and Nikki hadn't been drinking much at all) - before I was sick again, I didn't mind it so much at this point as it was more of a necessity to enable room in my stomach to finish the task, the rest I am afraid to say is a slight blur... I was however reminded by my friend Jodi (who lives in New York) that I rang her work landline and left her a lengthy voicemail whilst singing a version of Alisha Keys 'New York'... [cringe]

Luckily for me I have "great" friends who video'd events of the night so that I wouldn't forgot, this mainly occurred after LOTS of beer was consumed. The video that I watched the next day (whilst considering to kill myself) was Nikki and Jeni telling me over and over that I had actually done 138 shots and not the 100 required - Bitches!!!!

With very little respect left for myself, the challenge continues....

PS - the video's will NEVER been seen... ever!!!

Task 1 complete for Nikki - PMSL!!!!

So with a month and 18 days to go to the big 3-0 I thought I had better start about completing these 30 tasks... I say tasks I guess they can be classed more as mortifying life experiences. So last night myself, my fellow blogger and the Barron (take note of this name as I imagine she will feature highly in most events!) set about for a sunday night drink in central London. Now, for those of you that know my fellow companions will agree that the fact they left Clapham in the first place was a challenge in itself. I would have actually put this on Lauras list but I only wanted to put things that I thought she would realistically be able to do!!!

So equipped already with the triumph of leaving Clapham I was ready to start my list. Soooooo which one shall I choose???Well (with the help of a few bottles of wine) I thought what better to do on a Sunday night than have a big old nibble on someones neck. Give a person a love bite.... Done. Now I say person because the lucky recipient of my.. err.. tag was in fact a fine lady. This was not specified on the list but I felt as a straight girl I should mix it up and take it to the next level!! I do have a somewhat jaded memory of having more than one go.... obviously intent on leaving my mark!! I also think I may have spat in disgust afterwards at the taste of her perfume..way to woo ladies Nic!! sexy!!! I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for this behaviour and thank said lady for the use of her neck. I maybe should also apologise to ummm... her girlfriend??? She said it was fine but in my (sort of) sober state today I may not have given her the opportunity to object. That fact that I also remembered this morning her lovely girlfriend was driving and therefore 100% sober, enabling her to remember every single minute of the night makes me want to put the duvet back over my head and stay there for a very very long time. There are witnesses and pictures of said event but they are horrendous and as i have told Laura they do NOT need to be published!!!

Well with one down I was on a roll dragging Laura to find the nearest newsagent so I could buy a chocolate bar and then storm in 5 minutes later and demand a refund. thank god it was gone midnight and everything was shut. Not deterred by this I was still adamant I will complete one more.... so while walking back to the bar we passed a lovely young chap.... i said to Laura I'm going to tell this man I fancy him...its on the list... brilliant. Obviously Laura encouraged all the way. So I stopped the handsome stranger and told him my feelings. Laura was walking away and turned back with an evil smirk telling me I should re- read my list...I have to tell a guy I fancy him SOBER!! FAIL!!! Not that it maters as I have no prejudice to jobs what so ever... but Sam (we exchanged names) was a London street cleaner. So I told a man cleaning the streets I had the biggest crush on him for no reason what so ever. He took my number, text me last night..still drunk I have accepted to go on a date tomorrow... although I think he cleans the streets at night so it may have to be a breakfast date??? You never know we could maybe fall madly in love and get married...yeah...maybe???

So 1 down 29 to go!!! Apologies again for my behaviour last night but I do blame the wine. Yes it is the wines fault. As I fear a lot of my tasks may need some "vino" courage I should probably apologise now for my behaviour over the next 49 days!! It will be the wines fault... which will be because of the list...which ultimately is because of Laura... so its all Laura's fault. Obviously.

Nik x

PS - As Laura publishes these blogs she decided that photo evidence is required - sorry Nik :)

Planning my tasks

I know it’s not a race or anything, but I am well on my way to getting through the list. I have made an appointment to give blood in August, just need to ensure the alcohol level is low after the weekend – which by the way is a challenge in itself !

I plan to bake a cake tonight or tomorrow and endure the embarrassment of knocking on my neighbours door to offer them some for ‘love thy neighbour week’… then the real challenge is to avoid them for ever more out of sheer embarrassment, could be tricky in a flat within a converted town house!

I also did some research on walking dogs at Battersea dogs home… Due to my lack of love for the dogs, I was hoping on dropping by, offering to walk a dog (preferably one that fits in my handbag) and dropping it back after a swift walk in the park – job done! However that is not to be the case… Here is the information I have found out:

Main Activities include..

- Training and using enrichment techniques to stimulate mental activity

- Playing constructive games with the dogs

- Basic grooming

- Writing behavioral observations

Although I am not loving the idea of dog grooming, my concerns lie mainly with the below:

Experience & knowledge required..

- Good experience of handling dogs of all sizes and breeds. Confident and experienced to handle dogs that may be in a stressed state and/or of a nervous disposition

- Fit and mobile to walk for up to four hours a day and have sufficient strength and stamina to manage strong and boisterous or untrained dogs that may jump up

To summarize my experience of dogs is the following:

1) …

Let’s just hope I get a rat sized dog, which is sleepy and likes being on a long lead!

Suddenly not so smug..

Laura x

Laura's list

Sorry about the delay in publishing this post, I have been away in Dublin celebrating my cousin Paddy’s wedding – the amount of grief I got from my cousins for being mean for the list I gave to Nikki… well…. was not entirely deserved surely! It was certainly an interesting talking point at dinner ;)

So anyway, below is the list that Nikki gave to me, although she thinks she has gotten the shorter end of the straw, I think there is a fair few humiliating tasks on here that will occupy me for the next couple of months, particularly 5 (seriously!!) and I feel that 12 is going to be a complete stitch up now!!!

1.     Try a meat that you have never eaten before

2.     Stakeboard/rollerblade to work (I live in LONDON by the way… oh god..)

3.     Row a rowing boat

4.     Climb a mountain (Can this be an emotional one?)

5.     Ride a bucking bronco

6.     Stay awake for 48 hours

7.     Swim in English waters at night

8.     View a dream house that you cant afford

9.     Walk up to a stranger in a bar and give them a wink and your number

10. Go to Waterloo and get on the next train, staying on it till it’s final destination

11. Get drunk on Absinthe

12. Go on a blind date set up by Nikki

13. Go speed dating

14. Take a dance lesson  (hip hop or street dance was suggested L)

15. Get a free curry and kiss the waiter

16. Go vegetarian for 2 weeks

17. Crash a private party – preferably a wedding

18. Volunteer to dog walk at Battersea dog homes – or Dog sit for an afternoon (anyone who knows me well knows my love for dogs…. Not)

19. On a budget of £5 buy an outfit from a charity shop and wear it on a night out

20. Watch all the James Bond movies (there are 24……..)

21. Have your picture taken with a celebrity

22. Watch the sunrise on an English beach

23. Bake a cake for my neighbor because it’s ‘Love thy neighbor week’ (cringe)

24. Set a fire alarm off in a public place

25. Give blood

26. Play the centurion drinking game – have a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes

27. Be at Big Ben when it strikes midnight and celebrate as if its new years eve

28. Get a letter/email published in a magazine/newspaper (fingers crossed that working for a newspaper may assist in this)

29. Or 12 hours comment on every single new status on Facebook

30. At Jade or Nikki’s 30^th birthday bash, come in fancy dress (costume will be provided)

Anyone able to help with task 21? Brad Pitt would be a fab start and totally piss Nikki off – haha!

Also about Nikki’s pledge to not jeopardize my career or life, I am pretty sure that task 24 is illegal…

Oh god, what have we started!!!

Next step, Nikki and I to start completing the dares!!! The easy bit right??!!

Lx

Nikki's list

From Nikki's last blog, you may have gotten the impression that she has been somewhat stitched up... This is correct :) Although I did apply the same rules as she did, not jeopardising career or putting her life in danger (I begrudgingly took out the flirt with your boss at a work event), I may have stretched the cringe worthy and humiliating factor a little to far! 

So Miss Garrett, I hereby challenge you with the following to be completed before the big 3 0..

1. Get c**t pierced - I am guessing this will be the veto, but not to worry, got a fab back up!

2. Volunteer in an old people's home

3. Go to church on a Sunday

4. Give a man a love bite on the neck

5. Go on a date with a man older than 50

6. Randomly start dancing in a clothes shop, get your friends around you to pretend they dont know you but then start clapping and cheering you on

7. Perform karaoke in a bar getting really into it, maybe even shedding a tear of emotion at the end

8. Eat rabbit

9. Order food in a French restaurant with a French accent

10. Apply for a job and go for a job interview in a fast food restaurant (this is my favourite)

11. Get a tattoo on your toe

12. Try to negotiate the price of makeup in a department store (cringe!)

13. Test drive a boat or a Jaguar car

14. Attend a protest

15. Kiss a girl in public - avec la tongue

16. Go for a drink in a gay bar with a rainbow t-shirt on and an I heart gays hat

17. Be on a float at a carnival/procession

18. Go to a sex addicts clinic (or something similar - didn’t fancy Googling this at work to see if they existed in the UK)

19. Get Botox

20. Write a song and perform it at your 30th

21. Try on a wedding dress pretending you are getting married (just to rub in the fact that you are not and nearly 30)

22. Go on a donkey ride at Blackpool beach

23. Try to blag your way into a nightclub for free stating 'don't you know who I am!?'

24. Buy a chocolate bar from a news agents, then go back 5 minutes later and ask for a refund

25. Host a dinner party and cook a 3 course meal - inviting me :)

26. Organise your 30th birthday bash - I imagine that this is going to be the hardest one for you, those who know Nikki would agree

27. Approach a person on a busy tube and act like you know them and haven’t seen them in ages, reminding them of that last time you went out, re-living an embaressing story

28. Tell a guy you fancy them.. sober

29. Start a new hobby - not drinking or smoking

30. Tell your parents that you are bi-sexual - let them think it for 24hrs

Well there you go, you will now see why I haven't been able to stop laughing over the last couple of days. I cannot wait to watch Nikki attempting to do all of the above, I have a captain's hat ready for number 13! 

 Best get started, not long to go!

Lx

The exchanging of lists and a test of friendship!

So last night was the big exchanging of the lists....how did it go?? ... Well... the thing is when I first came up with this idea I told cavano i would make sure no task would jeopardise her life or her career... I wish I could take that back! This is obviously just my point of view but I feel i very much have the raw deal. I am now wishing all the things I didnt think I could ask her to do were top of her list!!!

To show an example  in the difference, before the lists were exchanged we both decided we could have 1 vitto. Laura has decided from her list she can't be arsed to walk up a mountain. From my list I'm not so hot on getting a very personal part of my female anatomy pierced!!!  Althoigh i do have a very irrational fear of karaoke... So obviously this is one of my 30.. and at one point I actually did have to think about which would be worse. Im yet to do either but I'm pretty sure it's the piercing??

As horrendous as nearly every task is i think we have both have loved every minute so far. Yeah we are going to make tits of ourselves but thats what your 20's are for!! I think Laura will post both lists soon. We are both away this weekend. So Ireland and York better watch out. There may a random girl trying to give a stranger their number, a lovebite... Blag a free curry, test drive a boat or get some Botox... (hmm wonder who got stiched up with that one!!)